funny christian quotes

Responsibility: A detachable burden easily shifted to the shoulders of God, Fate, Fortune, Luck or one's neighbor. In the days of astrology it was customary to unload it upon a star. ~Ambrose Bierce, The Devil's Dictionary, 1911



The teenager seems to have replaced the Communist as the appropriate target for public controversy and foreboding. ~Edgar Friedenberg, The Vanishing Adolescent



George Washington is the only president who didn't blame the previous administration for his troubles. ~Author Unknown



Not all religion is to be found in the church, any more than all knowledge is found in the classroom. ~Author Unknown



Man - despite his artistic pretensions, his sophistication, and his many accomplishments - owes his existence to a six inch layer of topsoil and the fact that it rains. ~Author Unknown



I don't care how poor a man is; if he has family, he's rich. ~Colonel Potter, M*A*S*H



The silence depressed me. It wasn't the silence of silence. It was my own silence. ~Sylvia Plath, The Bell Jar



He changed sunset into sunrise. ~Clement of Alexandria



Advertising has us chasing cars and clothes, working jobs we hate so we can buy shit we don't need. ~Fight Club movie, screenplay by Jim Uhls, directed by David Fincher, novel by Chuck Palahniuk



I am sure it is a great mistake always to know enough to go in when it rains. One may keep snug and dry by such knowledge, but one misses a world of loveliness. ~Adeline Knapp I am sure that nothing has such a decisive influence upon a man's course as his personal appearance, and not so much his appearance as his belief in its attractiveness or unattractiveness. ~Leo Tolstoy



The true meaning of life is to plant trees, under whose shade you do not expect to sit. ~Nelson Henderson The true meaning of life is to plant trees, under whose shade you do not expect to sit. ~Nelson Henderson



An original idea. That can't be too hard. The library must be full of them. ~Stephen Fry



I am thankful for the mess to clean after a party because it means I have been surrounded by friends. ~Nancie J. Carmody



Often people attempt to live their lives backwards; they try to have more things, or more money, in order to do more of what they want, so they will be happier. The way it actually works is the reverse. You must first be who you really are, then do what you need to do, in order to have what you want. ~Margaret Young



We must have passed through life unobservantly, if we have never perceived that a man is very much himself what he thinks of others. ~Frederick W. Faber



Most people are other people. Their thoughts are someone else's opinions, their lives a mimicry, their passions a quotation. ~Oscar Wilde, De Profundis, 1905



Let us be grateful to the mirror for revealing to us our appearance only. ~Samuel Butler, Erewhon



Your heart knows best. Your brain knows how to get you there. ~CJ Reed, @cjreed2112



History is a damn dim candle over a damn dark abyss. ~W. Stull Holt



The greatest obstacle to discovering the shape of the earth, the continents and the ocean was not ignorance but the illusion of knowledge. ~Daniel J. Boorstin, The Discoverers